I’ve wrote it several times and to no avail. I have to be able to lose 50 pounds or at least 20 kgs before this year end. I’m at the brink of being in the same position of my cousin’s girlfriend who has lost the chance of getting her forever because of her size.

I’m currently weighing around 200 / 90kgs. I am severely depressed about it but I’ve managed to survive the day without soda and rice. I am currently training myself to do that while slowly lessening what I eat. I’m in dire need of a makeover.

Filters cannot hide what my size is but I was lucky to have a pretty face (so they say). It’s depressing reading that a year ago. I was in the same predicament and filters can only show the improvement I long for.

What gives, Abigail? Among the other frustrations and goals in life… I really need this part smoothened out. To be able to achieve my body figure before I hit motherhood or even walk in a beautiful wedding dress. It depresses me everyday and even frustrates me when people make fun of my size.

Although motivated, I just all will since I have given up on myself but this year, I need to make a vow and prove to people but more importantly, to myself, that I could look great all before I turn 31.

Travel and weight loss – including savings, a stable job and business and more peaceful life. The simplicity of the wants I have are so basic that I realize how far I have gone moving away from the drama and choosing a simpler, better and contrite man chasing the same dreams.

Going back to dieting, I managed to go no soda and rice but a lot o food. I will continue to lessen the intake and add more swimming and yoga. Tomorrow is another struggle. I’ll keep going because I need this. There’s no way but up!