It was May of 2010 that I realized it was all over.

My fiancé of almost 3 years has finally reached strike 40+3 (40 women he tried to sleep with from myspace and 3 women he actually slept with during our relationship). It didn’t take him long at all to decide to walk away from me.

“Let’s face it, Gail. It will never work. I don’t want you anymore.”

It was painful enough that he didn’t want to be with me but moreover, one of the major reasons of his infidelity was that I was FAT.

You know how people say: it’s the inside that counts. That is pure bull.

Underneath my insulator made of layers and layers of adipose tissue, I had a heart, a brain and the commitment to make things work. Did it really matter? Apparently not.

I believe men are more demanding than women. Notice how every woman in love is ignorant of what kind of man their lover is. However, men, the moment a beautiful crosses their path, they forget they’re in a relationship or the song “Bakit Ngayon Ka Lang” starts playing in the background. (Note: Most men, not all men.)

When men are single, they probably have fallen in love with the next beautiful woman they meet before they figure out your name or have taken the time to compare which one to make a move on- whether it’s you or her. (Note: Walk away.)

Applying for a job was hard too. I guess being overweight meant you take up more oxygen than the rest of the employees or you’re just too heavy you might break their chair.

Harsh yet true: the physical matters.

As the weeks past, my ex apparently has slithered away slowly in his own lustful lagoon while I was now falling for a guy a million miles away. (Well, 5,284 miles.)

His name was RT (short for Ryan Anthony Tallud).

I couldn’t understand really how he made me feel so good. Whether he was a rebound or not, I was most definitely sprung over the fact he was this guy who was open to me just about everything (while clubbing for example, he listed down everyone he was with and even took pictures of who he was with), got mad at my vulgar and scandalous clothes (unlike the rest of the men I’ve been with) and cared enough to ask how I was feeling or what I thinking about.

It was probably a divine intervention (my favorite line) that he was there in Chicago and I was here. Maybe it was to give me another take on love. But most definitely, I wasn’t going to sit down and wait for him to call me fat and just walk away (well- fly away didn’t sound right. Fly back then?).

He was coming on September.
I barely had 4 months to lose all the weight. It was something impossible to do but then I didn’t want to be prejudged any longer- not just by RT but by everyone else.
Starting with just daily walks in the morning then progressing into an extreme home exercise program called p90x, I had every part of my body working hard enough that at the end of the day I would be so sore that I would pass out in my yoga mat.
There were moments that I was having pizza with a friend that I had suddenly stopped and rushed to the restroom to throw up everything I ate because I was so used to my soft diet (meaning oatmeal, fried eggplant, steamed vegetables and boiled egg).
It was just terrifying to watch myself get rejected in my mind over and over again by people that it took all of me to just keep on moving, never stopping and (in a very Disney way) wishing with all my heart it can happen even when people said it was impossible to lose the excess baggage.

I always had a bad habit to look back at my mistakes, failed relationships and wrong decisions but that all changed when I realized that the part of your life is just half of the story (depends on how old you are or how stupid you are and haven’t changed).

I stopped being so hard on myself and envisioned neither what I feared nor what has happened in the past, but rather, where I wanted to be.

And that’s the only time I started seeing results.
Now, October 10, 2010, exactly four months after I decided to say goodbye to chubs, I am now at 130.
Yes, I lost 50 pounds. (Well- 49 ½.)
Some people say I’m too skinny. Some say I’m still chubby. Whatever the real deal is, I don’t think I’ll stop dieting and working as hard until they label me underweight or malnourished. After all, my limit is 120 pounds and my thighs are still thunderous (like my arms).
After losing the weight, I realized I am still Gail, maybe with lesser adipose tissue but I am still the same woman being rejected by the ex, the hr officers and by most people. Difference now is that I walk with a bit more confidence (yet still low compared to others), wear clothes that I thought would never fit me and grateful for everything despite the mishaps I encounter daily.
I gave myself a chance to love myself and it’s a good feeling. (Really.)
Seeing Ryan again a few weeks back, it felt good to make it just in time, and cause him enough shock to have him speechless for a good 20 minutes and funnily, after all that hype, he was a motivation rather than an infatuation. We’re good friends. Getting a dream job last August, my boss told me I was still big back then but I had potential, just needed the extra push and right now, I couldn’t be happier for her stern nature that I learned so much from the quality of work to personality development.

From a 41-31-41 body to now, a 38-26-38 body;
From being almost jobless to having an awesome job with great people
From chubby to sheikh
From heartbroken to loving being single
From “I don’t know what to do in my life” to “I know what I’m supposed to do”
From just Gail to becoming new and improved Abigail

Life can only get better.
Gone are the moments I stay motionless, breaking out in tears because I felt like I was nearing a dead end. Lately, I am still, knowing that God is in control, and just in pure bliss that my life has completely turned around the moment I said I can and lifted it all up to the Almighty.
I believe everyone who perseveres and is determined to conquer self-pity and doubt will definitely reach their goal, especially when you stop giving up on yourself the moment some unfortunate event happens or someone brings you down. It didn’t take a day or two to lose a single pound. It took me months, lots of disappointments (Salonpas as well) and discipline.
Likewise, with everything else.
If you ever felt like you’d never lose as far as 30 or be better at something, I’m telling you that it all boils down to what you think. When you change the way you see life and start doing what yng you listed down.
You’d be amazed how people I knew back then and people I just met lately have completely different views of me because of the change I’ve undergone. My closest ones were only witnesses through my transformation. (I wasn’t really kidding when I posted the status: I’m ready! Transform!)

Each moment counts. Don’t waste another one just because it seems impossible or someone said it is. Believe in the limitless possibilities and never ever look back.

My Stellar Guide:
Tipping Point
Change your life in 28 days Outliers
Who stole my Magic? (Cosmopolitan Series)
Dare to Succeed
Chicken Soup for the soul
Weight Loss:
Thin Thighs
101 Beauty Tips
Things a woman should know about seduction
(Note: you could really get some tips online as well! Google is your friend!)
Exercise programs:
For weight loss (that pass their fitness test):
p90x lean program for the day (60 minutes)
yoga (20 minutes)
swimming/stepper/walking (40 minutes)
For toning/Maintenance:
pole dancing/aerobic striptease/pilates (45 minute)
yoga (20 minutes)
swimming (40 minutes)
light weights for women (15 minutes)
(Note: This is what I did. Not sure if it will work the same.)
I count my calories. If you have an iphone or itouch, put a calorie counter. Make sure you don’t go beyond 500 less of your daily intake when you’re trying to lose weight or beyond your limit when you’re maintaining. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables and 6 small meals a day (meaning 1/4th of what you usually eat for a full meal). Drink water and allow yourself one cheat day (maybe 2 if you already know your body well.)
(Note: Daily intake calculation you can search online by typing p90x calorie intake calculation. Remember: Google is your friend!)
Other tips and advice:
Fasting: Make a list of things of what you want to have, become or happen and pray about. It works wonders! Saving: Use envelopes and allocate your money.
Self-control for the shopaholic indeed but it gets your bills paid plus its rewarding when you complete the amount to pay for what you’re saving for.
Stay neat and clean: It really reflects and mirrors your perception of your things.
Explore: I love the arts. So I paint, draw or experiment with music.
Consistency: Create a vision board and never forget it.
Chill: Don’t be too hard on yourself, boo.

Accountability to the most important one: Trust God and have faith. It doesn’t just move mountains, it melts fat too.

Much love,